How Do You Know "The One?"

Over the years I have pondered on this question, I have always wondered how two people come together and decide to become one, accept everything (the good the bad, and the ugly) about their partner and start a lifetime journey with them.

Marriage before now always seemed so simple to me. Love was the only spice needed to make it happen, in my head, that was all I thought. If I love you so much that I can't go a day without you, I believe it proves you are the one. But these married lads were singing a different tune, "Love isn't enough they all echo, it fades." How dare you? Even the Bible says love is the greatest of all things, why curtail it?  

As the years passed, I realized my thoughts were mere fables. Not because I have exchanged vows, not even because I was in a relationship, but because I decided to understand how marriages work. I took a seat  and watched from a distance. I saw how partners needed time to themselves, I saw how partners acted selfishly, I saw how partners dropped the beginning acts, I saw how partners don't see sex the way they were used to seeing it, I saw partners being in vulnerable states but are not afraid or ashamed to show it. All of these are mixtures of good and bad, but guess what, they still coexist and appreciate each other.

How do you know "The one?" 
I still don't know, I guess it comes with the peace around him/her, the understanding, the intentional act, the appreciation of the littlest things, the easy way of forgiveness, the loneliness you feel when the other is just in the next room, the space you give each other but can't wait to be together again, the friendship.   All of these and more are covered in passionate affection but presented by LOVE. Yes, these things are all immersed in love. 

Have I got an answer to my question? Not yet, but what have I come to discern in choosing the one is thus;
It is the acceptance of a human who is not perfect but will take care of you, respect you, make you happy, provide for you, be intentional about you, be consistent, adore you and give you peace to cohabit with them.

So next time you want to focus on just love in choosing the one, remember this.. You can love a million people, but you can't tolerate all of them. Read that again.

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  1. Gives peace... really really important

  2. You can love a million people but you cannot tolerate them!!!